29 July 2005

An exercise I did a while ago

Green

She had cigarette-ad looks
bought with bruises
that leered out from the folds
of that lizard tint dress

Sweat slimed your fingers
her tongue a blade of grass
behind picket fence teeth
that lied about lawns

Sparks were born in her wineglass
she would snap the delicate stem
you thought and more
if not for her thorns

2 comments:

Jake T said...

i really dig it. If you want some criticism that's actually helpful, though, let me know. but I think you're definately on the right track, exercise or no.

Doctor Dung said...

Post comments, dog. I ain't afeared of no criticisms! BTW, I'm should post draft 3 of that other one (taking the comments into consideration).